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I believe I have posted and commented about parenting being harder than any non-parent can imagine or any parent can verbalize.

It is.  I am not retracting that statement.

I do, however, stand corrected in that no matter how hard parenting may be, staying married (and liking it) AS A PARENT is much, much harder.  I would assume that my husband would agree, so as to not be one-sided.

Oh, to anyone thinking of having a baby to “save your marriage”:   It won’t work. Period.

I hear it gets better after the first year, much like parenting isn’t always as difficult as it is the first few months…

I wanted to share with you this innovative, crafty, homemade thingy I made for Kira that she absolutely LOVES with a capital V.

It is quite simply a plastic juice jug, sans juice.  I filled it a bit more than half full of water (see how optimistic I can be? harhar) and added little foam dolphins and starfish to make glittery, floaty bits.

She likes to look at the little glittery, floaty bits when I sit her in front of the jug.  Sitting there holding on to it trying to look at the glittery, floaty bits (all the while keeping a hand behind her in case she loses her balance) she holds on to the jug and chews on the cap.  While this is entertaining to her, it also is bottom-heavy, thus helping keep her from falling over, teaching her balance and strengthening her torso.

Now, it must work because my 6 month and 1 week old child has been sitting up unsupported for about 3 weeks now, maybe 4.    So, if you are thinking along the lines of, “oh, my! how could she let her child chew on plastic that isn’t BPA free!?”, then allow me to respond with:  I’ve already heard this.  We don’t microwave the plastic jug, we don’t set it out in the sun to get sun microwaves, so we aren’t overly concerned.  Get over it.

Also, let me add a disclaimer:  If you were to copy this idea, which I would recommend because it really does work, I would recommend taping down the cap with a non-toxic tape so that water can’t spill out accidentally while you child may be chewing on the cap.  Maybe something like bandage adhesive.  I don’t know what you should use, just make sure it isn’t toxic like duct tape.  If you let your kid chew on duct tape then the survival of the fittest rule applies and I cannot help you, in fact no one probably can.

It sucks.  Crying and fussing non-stop, feeling bad that you can’t really make it better, not sleeping.  It sucks.  I wish I were anywhere but here right now.

I haven’t been as present here as I intend to be.  But I am still here, that’s what really counts, right?

My life has been overly full the past couple of weeks, but I think (I hope!) I am starting to reel it in and get things under control again.  Or maybe I am am simply adjusting to the chaos…whatever, whichever.

Let me back things up a bit.  I must start by bragging a little…hey, I don’t do much of that here, so I’m taking my moment and enjoying it.  My little, sweet bunny girl has hit several milestones in the past couple of weeks.  She went up on all fours, to hopping on all fours, to sitting up by herself, to crawling, to going from crawling to sitting with ease, and is now pulling herself up by using anything she can reach.  She is only 6 months and 1 week old!  She’s amazing, I love watching her and interacting with her.  She is so cool.  She obviously gets THAT from me, hehe.

She had her 6 month check-up with her pediatrician and even she was amazed by her progress, placing her motor skills at the level of a 9-10 month old.  She is very smart, I will likely pay for this later.

I am currently keeping my MIL’s Pomeranian while they are in Tunica gambling and chillin’.  My cat, Burrito, is enjoying having another dog to play with while my dog, Chini, is in a constant state of sulking.  Apparently, she must think we are keeping her and isn’t too keen on having even more competition for my affection.

Yesterday, I hooked up with three friends of mine from high school.  We had lunch, drinks and a lot of laughs.  It was a great time and I look forward to doing it again soon.  In fact, it felt so normal and natural despite the amount of time that has passed, I can’t hardly wait to see them again.  I suppose it is just what happens in life, things come full circle…and so it is.

Today, I spent the afternoon at Grant’s Farm with Kira and Vince making like a family.  We rode the tram, saw the animals, enjoyed both a snow cone and beer, then went on to have dinner at Rich & Charlies.  Kira was great.  She missed an afternoon nap, except for a quick 20 minutes in the car, and still was funny, smiley and good.

There is one thing I missed out on this weekend, that I didn’t make it to my niece’s 8th grade graduation ceremony.  It is a long way away and we couldn’t possible make it and still do everything we were obligated to do.  I will see her next weekend, though, when we head south to visit with my family for Memorial Day weekend.

Oh, I have been reading so much lately.  I have three books going right now and one I just finished.  I go through phases like that, so it seems, where I read everything and then get burned out on reading for a while.  It’s ‘game on’ time for reading.  I can’t get enough.

That would be Happy Mother’s Day and Shit, in case you weren’t sure.

Let’s get on with it…first the Mother’s Day and then the Shit…

I have enjoyed my baby girl today, enjoyed being a mom and being a family, as well.  I had a MD breakfast and a MD dinner and a MD stroll in the park.  I even had a MD lawn mow.  Hey, still has to be done and I enjoy being outdoors.

It has been a good day here on the mommy front, even a good weekend…the past 10 days or so, however, have sucked ass in ways that I can’t entirely go into detail about.  Death, serious illness and family drama.

I lost a friend about 10 days ago, which isn’t even the worst part of this traumatic incident.  The circumstances and the pain inflicted on a closer friend due to this incident are way worse than anything I could or ever would post about on this blog.  I have refrained from mentioning it at all out of respect for both the living and the deceased and for that same reason I must stop short of saying anymore.  I only mention it at all because it seems to be the start of a series of 3, unfortunately all very bad things.

I have been ruled by the rule of 3’s, and quite honestly a bit overwhelmed by it, the past 10 days.  If you are not familiar with the rule of 3’s, then you probably haven’t been paying attention to your life.  Bad things happen in 3’s, you can count on it.  It never seems to fail.

So, the second bad thing has to do with my dog.  My beloved Chini, my best friend, my angel.  I took her to the vet for a pre-op consultation for a simple, outpatient eye surgery and found out from blood work that she may have a deadly, incurable disease that will shut down (potentially) her liver, kidneys and heart…whichever gives out first.  There is no cure, only treatment that will not guarantee anything, will make her violently sick for a while and then hopefully give her time.  To make matters worse, the treatment that may, or may not, give me the 15 good years with her that she and I both deserve will cost a small fortune…fortune enough that the vet says people rarely go through with it.  I am currently awaiting additional test results and will have to make some very big decisions at that time, they should be ready tomorrow.

The third and possibly worst has to do with my grandma slipping away out of her right mind.  She may have had a stroke, she may have something else…we don’t know yet.  But she certainly isn’t doing well.  I just found out she doesn’t have Medicaid anymore either, because apparently when my grandpa died and his $30,000 went into her name, they cancelled her coverage retroactive and are billing her for a surgery she had in the amount of $24,000.  That’s fair. NOT!  They got her to sign something, too and I still have to figure out what it was and what to do about it.  I shouldn’t even have to be dealing with this, by all rights, but her children (my mother included) have all decided that money was more important than family (you know, because we are just so filthy rich in my family *coughs bullshit*) and have no interest in even speaking to their mother much less caring for her in her elderly years (and ultimately leaving her care up to two of her grandchildren, which just isn’t right).

Here’s where I come in.  I have to find out what happened with Medicaid, what she signed and try to figure out how to legally make her wishes upon death come to fruition and get her proper medical attention having only Medicare coverage.  I am in up to my ears.  I am just about ready to cry.

I spoke with her today to wish her a Happy Mother’s day and the conversation didn’t go so well, in fact it left me in tears.  Then I had to pull myself together to call my own mother and wish her a HMD, in spite of being really pissed at her for leaving her own mother in the state she is in, not caring about her or for her, not even so much as calling her to wish her a HMD for about 6-7 years now.  It was hard to do it and mean it.  But I did, as best as I could.  I love my mom, but I can’t help but be angry under the circumstances.  The best I can do right now is try to forget how angry I am in between all the b.s.

So, now you know why I haven’t been posting anything for about 9 days or so.

I am still here.  I am still kicking.  I did still enjoy my first official Mother’s Day, although I have been having my own MD celebration for more than a decade…fuzzy kids count, too!

My sweetie just gave me this t-shirt as a surprise!  I LOVE this shirt!

I am accepting it as an early Mother’s Day gift…