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Discovering motherhood…one poopy diaper at a time.

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Archive for the ‘Special Occasions’ Category

I thought I would share my day with the internuts.

I think I will backtrack a bit to add that Friday night was spent in a battle of wits.  Vince and I vs. Christmas tree lights.  They nearly kicked our ass.  We ended up tossing the majority of our cumulative collection in the garbage.  And that was the most enjoyable part of the whole experience.  Well, not really, I suppose I really did enjoy making up mean songs about Christmas lights to the tune of several Christmas songs.  But I would enjoy that sort of thing.

Now, moving on to the Saturday festivities…

I awoke to the invite for breakfast and to laundry. This starts out pretty exciting, eh?  Then on to breakfast at IHOP, which was yummy delicious, where my child proceeded to act spastic near the end of our excursion.  She took a power nap of 20 minutes on the way home and then proceeded to be all bouncy, so we decided to pack her lunch and torture ourselves at the mall.  We managed to kill two birds with one stone:  1) we got Kira’s picture taken with Santa for the first time ever and 2) we did her first ever Build-a-Bear because I had a coupon (I lurves me some coupon savings!!).

The mall traffic sucked ASS!  The insane traffic, the crowded stores and just the simple fact that it is a mall is why I try to avoid ever going there.  I know, I know…I am not a girl, well at least not in the sterotypical “liking to shop” sort of way.  Trust me, my husband can and HAS out-shopped me by a long shot.

We lost Vince at a cool pub decor store and went to BAB.  Kira immediately grabbed FOUR unstuffed animals, a polar bear, a kitteh, and 2 different teddy bears and latched onto them like a leech.  We waited for Vince and waited and waited until I realized I didn’t have my cell phone.  So, I pried the unstuffed animals from Kira’s firm grip and went looking for him…no such luck, so we headed back and called his mobile from the BAB store phone.  No answer, gah!

He finally strolls in and we get Kira a polar bear.  She did quite well for such a tiny girl, she even pressed the pedal all by herself to blow the stuffing in.  She kept her death-grip on her polar bear until I fed her in line for Santa.

Ah, the first Santa experience…I walk her up to him and she starts screaming and crying.  Most likely to the horror of most of the other parents waiting in line, I hand her over to this Santa stranger, step back and tell the lady to take the picture tears, smiles or whatever we get…I WANT THIS PICTURE!  So, we got pictures with Santa and the lady did manage to distract her enough to get the “what, are you nuts?!?” glare from my kid.  I love it!  Then they stuck it to us for $20 for 2 5 x 7′s.  That is crazy shit.  I assure you next year we will try another approach, like the Breakfast with Santa event or something.  It couldn’t possibly be worse than the effing mall.

At this point Kira was wiped out, as were we.  We came home and she napped for all of an hour, maybe.  We ate dinner and then I got peed on a little.  And then I knelt in the pee.  Hmm…I think that will be all for today!

Tomorrow we shall have our first family portrait done, dinner with family and then I shall hopefully get a good night sleep before I proceed with intentionally making my child ill by giving her milk to drink.  Doctors are so sadistic…

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that on the way to breakfast I threw Kira’s sippy cup of apple-banana juice into my purse and upon arrival discovered that the lid wasn’t secure and about half the sippy cup emptied into my purse!  This was quite funny until I realized this evening that my MP3 player was in there…YIKES!  I am just hoping that it isn’t f.u.b.a.r.

All in all, it was a crazy day and I had a great time!!!

Today was Kira’s 1st Birthday party.  It was such a great success.  Family and friends visiting, cupcakes (both allergy-free and regular!), Kira playing outside with other kids and seeing her surrounded by love.  She was also fairly responsive to her gifts, which everyone so generously brought for her.  She didn’t have much interest in opening her gifts, but she sure did enjoy them once they were opened. She grabbed an Elmo and ran, grabbed a baby and hugged her, and danced to a musical puppy.

As much as this is a celebration of Kira’s first year of life, it is also more than that.  It is a celebration of being a family for a year, for Kira’s amazing growth physically and mentally this past year, for all of us surviving each other for a year.  It really has been an amazing year.  Trying and difficult, wonderful and joyful, endearing and educational.  I have grown as much, possibly more, as Kira has this past year but in a different way.

I am a better person.  More aware of others, of myself, more patient and I have an entirely different perspective on love than ever before.

I have Kira, my love, to thank for all that.  I thank her for this most wonderful year and for her most wonderful self.

Happy 1st Birthday Party, Kira Barie!!

I should preface this by saying that this was already poop #3 of the day and it wasn’t yet one o’clock in the afternoon…

I began by placing my child on the floor in front of me to change a stinky poopy diaper but she was more interested in being free like the wind, which makes keeping her still and on her back a difficult task.  She wiggled to break free of me while I reasoned with a 10 month old to stick around long enough to get a new diaper on…yeah, fat chance of that working.  As I explained to her the importance of having patience  (ironic, since I have none myself) and how she can make time to allow a quick diaper change (I mean, I kinda make her schedule so there’s no getting around the fact that she has the time!), she chewed on the face of a monkey, occasionally attempting to make a break for it.

Okay, poopy diaper off, butt clean, and new diaper on, sparing no time to safely roll the poop into the dirty diaper in hope of that being enough seconds spared to get the new diaper securely fastened.

As I fasten the last tab, Kira, in one swift motion, rolls over into a downward dog and springs up onto her feet and takes a step over my legs to escape.

No problem…

Except now that I am reaching for the poopy diaper to roll it up and discard it, I realize the poop is missing.

Yes, I said the poop is MISSING!

I look at Kira and exclaim, “THE POOP IS MISSING!” in a humorously alarmed tone.  She looks back at me curiously as I, on hands and knees, look all over the living room and even UNDER the sofa for a turd.  I mean, really, how difficult can it be to find a TURD in the LIVING ROOM?!?  I am uncertain where else to look and I have not yet located said turd, so again I look to Kira and say with an underlying tone of both defeat and laughter, “I don’t know where the poop is. Do you see the stinky poopy?”.

This is the point of the story in which my 10 month old child, who has a very timely, witty and slightly “off” sense of humor already, looks right at me and raises her right leg straight out in front of her exposing the bottom of her foot where there is an infant shoe size 2 turd.

Ah, now the case of the missing poop has been solved…I may now move on to less stinky things.

Today is my 3rd wedding anniversary.  We both forgot about it, as you may have read at cybrpunk.com.

Happy Anniversary!  We can celebrate in a week or so when I get back from Chicago…assuming I survive the remainder of the week with 7 kids!

Yeah, I said 7.

There is one 8 month old, two 3 year olds, one 5 year old, two 6 year olds and 12 year old.  Yikes.  I say that with less enthusiasm after 4 days with them, as they are wearing me down.  I know for certain that they are all really good kids; however, I also know for certain that I may never have more than one (possibly two)…and I am debating keeping the one I’ve got.

A week with this many kids makes you yell a lot more than you would prefer, it makes you more tired than you ever imagined possible, it makes you laugh more than usual, laugh harder than usual, and gets your blood pressure higher than is healthy.

In other news, my baby girl is having some issues and some milestones.  While I turned my head for a brief moment, she took a hit off a soy milk filled sippy cup on Monday which she and I both have been paying dearly for ever since.  She is starting to feel better, but still having some issues with a raw, red butt and diarrhea…oh, and an eczema flare up.  She has been saying “momma” for a week, started it last Thursday and hasn’t stopped saying it since.  It is funny how that is the best moment ever when your child starts calling you momma, then after a few years you get so sick of hearing it you consider the witness protection program.  Her first REAL teeth, for those of you who saw her FAKE first teeth (hehe), have come through and can be felt and seen clearly now.  It is the bottom two.  Awe, my baby is getting so big.

See you soon, Vince, and I’ll take you up on the celebration when I get home!

Kira and I are taking an infant swim class, it is her first time in a pool.  She loves it! (yay!)

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My sweetie just gave me this t-shirt as a surprise!  I LOVE this shirt!

I am accepting it as an early Mother’s Day gift…

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First of all, let me catch you up on what is happening around here…

I got sick. Then Kira got sick.  Then I thought I was going to lose my mind taking care of a 3 1/2 month old baby who couldn’t breathe.  It really sucked for her and for me!  Thankfully, I think we are both past that.

We took Kira for her very first visit to the St. Louis Zoo!  It was a gorgeous day so we got out of the house for a while.  She loves looking at everything and everyone.  She exhausted herself within the first 30 minutes we were there.  Once I got her to sleep, we walked the zoo for a long time and just enjoyed the day.  It was really great being outside all day, especially after being couped up inside all winter.

Here is a photo of Cybr showing Kira the zebra penny he made for her:

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And here is a penguin (just because it is cute):

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We are not celebratory of Valentine’s Day around our house.  My husband thinks it is nothing more than a Hallmark holiday when it becomes all about flowers, cards, candy, jewelry and all other heart-shaped paraphernalia…so, we don’t do flowers, cards or candy…okay, sometimes I buy us chocolate covered strawberries because you can only ever find them this time of year without going to specialty candy shops but if I could buy those at the local grocery in mid-July or any other month of the year, believe me I would.  Oh, and I am just not a really romantic kind of gal.  My idea of romance is…well, lets not go there.

I digress, which oddly makes me feel much like my “old self” (pre-baby) again….

My point is that I had a lovely V-Day in our own way and my husband didn’t have to get a loan to buy a huge bouqet of flowers or any bling.  Instead, he showed his love in the best way possible…He stayed home with Kira for 2 hours while I went and drank over-priced coffee and read a book.  A BOOK!  I GOT TO READ A BOOK!  That hasn’t happened in quite a while now.  That is the closest thing to a vacation I am going to have for some time…getting lost in a book.  It was awesome.  It is the little things that make me happy…

After my return from reading (w00t!!), I fed Kira and then we shopped for bedroom furniture for a while.  That was a dead end, but at least we have a better idea what we like.  Kira, the little sweetness, slept the whole time we shopped.  Then, we went to Houlihan’s for an early dinner at which Kira watched us and all the other people with wide-eyes.  I fed her some cereal and we came home.  She went to bed tonight without a huge struggle at 8:30!!!!! which is greatly improved from her former 11 p.m. bedtime schedule which was KILLING ME slowly.

Once Kira was sleeping soundly, Vince and I went through a few boxes in our family room.  No, we are still not even close to being unpacked, nor will we be this year at the rate we are unpacking.  He went through one box and I went through one, but everytime he pulled something out that belonged to me, he handed it to me.  The next thing I know, I am holding these random items and he is handing me another saying, “This must be yours” and I respond with an emphatic, “Stop handing me everything that is mine, dammit, what do you expect me to do with this stuff?!?”.  We both bust up laughing.  I swear, he is so weird that he makes me look normal…not an easy feat!

Now I am blogging and he is playing XBOX360…we are a match made in heaven, really.

We have a house.  The closing went a bit rough, but we survived. 

The kittehs are here.  They remember their mom and are happy to see me…what a HUGE relief.  I have had my kitty-fix and am feeling much better. 

I have no idea what we are going to do with all the crap still coming from storage.  We have only received our sea shipment from Hong Kong and already there is stuff everywhere.  I have no idea…but the movers are bringing it tomorrow, so soon we shall see.

We had tons of help getting some things done yesterday, both friends and family showed up and took care of all the little things we needed complete immediately.  Plus washed dishes, scrubbed the inside of the refrigerator/freezer, painted the nursery…this, in addition to a plumbing repair, electrical repair, fencing repair, and much more. 

I have had two EXTREMELY long days, or maybe three.  I think I have walked the baby down even further and it will not be long.  We shall see!

So much happening, so little time to process it all much less write about it.

The baby is ready to roll.  She is dropped down against my cervix, which brings me to a whole new level of discomfort, I have apparently had my “bloody show” and am awaiting her arrival at this point.  I am not dilated at all, at least not as of Monday when I was examined and if I am having any contractions, they aren’t strong enough to notice.  So, my little beastie may be with us on or before Halloween (if we are lucky it will be ON Halloween, what an awesome birthday!).

We close on the house this Friday, move in Saturday thru Monday and I get my fuzzy boys back on Saturday, too.  I can’t wait to see them!  It has been just over three months.  Three long, lonesome months without kittehs.  I miss having a kitteh on my head at night, Francois makes the bestest nightcap.  I just hope they aren’t too freaked out by the 5 hour drive to St. Louis from St. Joseph, MO and that they remember their mother.  I NEED KITTEHS!!!

There has been more to do this week than I can keep track of.  If I haven’t returned your phone call or if my scant posts are boring the hell out of you, then I must apologize.  That is about all I can do right now, I mobility and brain function are both rather limited right now.  I just hope I get my brain back soon.  I don’t think it is fair that women have to do both the physical and mental part of pregnancy…I think if I have to carry her in my body, be uncomfortable, and have painfully gross things happen to my body, then Cybr should at the least have to get “placentabrain” (as my doctor calls it, see it has a technical term).  Oh, well, it isn’t likely at this point so there isn’t any sense in dwelling on it.

Will be back…sooner or later!