Discovering motherhood…one poopy diaper at a time.

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Archive for the ‘Dream a little dream’ Category

Uh…that would be the cartoon characters, not the half-naked, dancing men.

Yeah, so I have been sleeping MUCH better lately.  Yay for the melatonin supplement I’ve been taking!  It really works, apparently, as I am actually able to fall and mostly stay asleep and even have REM cycles.  I really like REM cycles.  I am a SERIOUSLY ANGRY BEAR when I am sleep deprived.

Oh…a little side note for those of you who think like my husband…I am taking melaTONIN, not melaNOMA.  Seriously, he is so weird.

But anyway, back to my dreams.  I am dreaming and remembering them, which is like being reunited with an old friend of mine.  I love remembering my dreams, they add extra color to my life.

So, this particular dream, myself, my husband, my friends, and (yes) Chip and Dale the cartoon characters from the days of yore are on a fishing boat in the ocean and we are fishing for sharks of all things.   We aren’t having much luck, so Chip (or perhaps Dale, as if it matters, lol) offer to be the bait.  This works, we catch a shark.  Then, when we are certain that Chip (or is it Dale?) has met his fate inside the belly of this ginormous shark, his voice startles all of us as he is looking on wondering what we are all doing standing around looking at a shark.

Then I woke up to a screaming baby.

Don’t you wish you knew what happens next?  I doubt it!

In case the friends are reading this, I intend to name you so that you  know I have weird dreams about sharks and cartoon chipmunks (wearing next to nothing!) and YOU ARE INCLUDED!  Heather, Dan and Athena…you were all there!!  Mwahahahahaha!!!

I have recently been considering how important it is to me that my little girl grows up knowing the value of self.  Specifically, I have been thinking what we, her parents, need to be certain to make happen during her impressionable years so that she grows into an adult that knows her self-worth.

There have been a few things recently that I have been experiencing that have put this thought in my head:

  1. doing research to determine a price for my photography based on others locally who I consider to be comparable to my own quality.
  2. being networked to so many friends, both from past and present, who are presently (or are considering) going back to school to embark on a completely new career path
  3. based on items 1 and 2, contemplating how I see myself and how that will ultimately effect Kira as she grows up and develops her own self-worth

This has been a HUGE eye-opener for me.  HUGE, with a capital G.

I find my value being considerably less than it should be when I breakdown my internal dialogue.  This is not good.  This is not acceptable.

I am so proud of all my friends that are chasing down dreams and making them real, especially after having settled into a routine for so long.  It makes me want to do the same, to really go after what I have always wanted.  To make a reality of the things I put to the back corner of my mind so many years ago.

When I think of making this a reality, it is then my excuses become innumerable.

That is when I realized exactly how important having a family support system is.  To have people who openly, verbally believe in you and encourage you.

I am not going to digress into my own childhood here and ramble on about it.  I will, however, say this much:  I had people that believed in and encouraged me during my childhood and adolescence.  I also had someone I greatly admired that verbally tore me to shreds and diminished every chance for me to feel good and worthy of good.  For every word of encouragement or support, there were hundreds of words berating, belittling and breaking me down.  These words have carried some weight throughout my life, as is always the case with negativity, but I believed that I had left much of the past behind me up til now.

Now, more than ever, I have to face this and repair it.  It is of dire importance for Kira’s sake that I not only be the best person I can be, but that I practice what I preach to her, as well.  I can’t just say, “Know your self-worth!” to her, not if it will make a hypocrite of me.

I have a huge obstacle ahead of me that I must hurdle.  I will be digging deep to clear out any remaining negative thoughts and the voice I hear that says, “You can’t do that, you aren’t smart enough, good enough, capable enough.  You missed your opportunity.  You threw it all away”.  I also have to find my way past a maze of excuses like “you don’t have enough time, you should really be more realistic, you are taking away from your family, and your husband shouldn’t have to endure the financial burden of your dream chasing”.

The truth is, myself as well as my family will pay a higher price if I never chase my dreams…

(P.S.  It is amazingly difficult to make such a bold statement of my shortcomings.  But I believe the truth and facing the truth head on will be what makes all the difference in setting me free from this toxic thinking.  I also believe there are probably a lot of you out there, perhaps reading this right now, that feel very similarly.  I hope you find a way to overcome your own negative self-image, no matter the nature or origin of it.)

Oh, I have stuff to say…I just haven’t taken the time to post. That’s a bad blogger…bad.

Anyway, I have been lounging at the pool catching some UV rays and working on my skin cancer, er, I mean tan. Actually, the tan part is coming through SPF30 and SPF50 sunblock. The sun is very powerful and hot here. I have been visiting the pool regularly to get some exercise and relax in the water. I was working out in a gym, but I got bad cramps every time so I had to stop. The pool is working out really well, not only do I feel better but I have a bit of glowing skin as well…maybe it is that infamous pregnancy glow, or maybe it is my pasty white, dull skin getting some much needed color. Either way, it works out well for me.

I did see a little boy (maybe 1 yr old) swimming with his mommy the other day and when they got out of the pool she changed him out of his swim diaper. I noticed the frantic embarrassed reaction of the the mother out of the corner of my eye and glanced over to realize that it was because when she took off the swim diaper and reached into the bag for a real diaper, he had a fountain-like stream of urine aimed right at her. Hehe, kinda funny (unless it is you, I suppose).

Other than swimming, the only thing I have going on here is tickets to see Seussical today at 2 pm, dinner with friends afterward and trying my damnedest to keep my hands clean to avoid hand, foot and mouth disease. Hand, foot and mouth disease has recently been called an epidemic in mainland China where (at last report that I read) there have been a reported 43 deaths of children from the disease. Apparently, it has worked its way into Hong Kong and even our small community of Discovery Bay. I know with certainty that an acquaintance of mine that lives across the street has young children who have contracted the disease and are being treated.

I read that while most adults have a strong enough immune system to fight the disease, children often do not and pregnant women and their unborn children can be at greater risk from the disease….So, I will be avoiding small children like they have the Plague and washing my hands so frequently that they become raw.

One last thing I must share is the dream I had last night.

I dreamed that I was driving with Chini in a convertible of some sort and the backseat was full of my personal effects. I stopped at night to go by an ATM far cash, I got out of the car, told Chini to stay, and reached into my purse to get my wallet when a menacing stranger approached my car. I instinctively knew he was going to be trouble, but kept my hand in my purse minding my business hoping he would pass. He didn’t pass, he held a gun on me and went about rummaging through my belongings, pistol whipped my dog for barking at him and, of course, continued to threaten my life with a gun. This really pissed me off. I don’t like to be threatened and I would hurt some one for hurting my dog, so I (still having my hand in my purse where he can’t see) grab my gun, pull it out and promptly shoot him in the head.

There is an obvious bullet hole in his forehead between his eyebrows, yet in my dream he is still trying to aim his gun at me and making verbal threats. I say to him, “You have a bullet in the brain, you cannot still be standing!” and with that, he dropped to the ground.

This is the good part…

Suddenly, I am not alone. Dr. Doug Ross and other former staff members from ER show up to attempt to revive or repair this guy I shot. Meh, I am not impressed so I leave. I drive to a nearby house (I have no idea who’s house this is, but I must know someone!) and I go in. There are people there that I do not recognize and then in walks NoMiniMom with a variety of Dairy Queen items for me and everyone else in the house.

I find this amusing in my waking state, as Dairy Queen sounds REALLY FREAKING GOOD even though ice cream makes me feel ill for several hours after I eat it.  It is probably for the best that there are no Dairy Queens in Hong Kong, I am not certain I could resist. This baby is a salt fiend, not real into sweets — complete opposite of me!

may forever be wedgie-free.

This is the stuff dreams are made of.  Thanks, Hanes.

This is some seriously weird shit.

Tom Cruise, and Scientology altogether if this is the result of immersing yourself into this religion, is completely insane!

He doesn’t even make sense! It is creepy. I actually had to read the quoted text in order to understand half of what he’s mumbling about and even after reading it, it is nothing more than babbling nonsense.

Ahh, but the parodies are the best. This one cracked me up, this one is just completely ate up, and this one with Jerry O’Connell is the most accurate impersonation (in my opinion). They are really all funny, check out many of them here.

The only thing creepier than Tom Cruise and Scientology is the dream I had last night about Cameron Diaz. All I can say for sure is that I woke up disoriented and that the dream involved Cameron, drug usage, sex and golf. And I don’t really like golf, so I have no idea what that was all about….

But WAIT, there’s MORE! This is also the week of prying gross things out of Chini’s mouth. In order to truly comprehend how gross this task actually is, you must know two things. First, when I am walking with the dogs, rarely is there gloves or tissues available with which to keep from having to touch gross things with my bare hands. Second, when Chini gets a hold of something she is not about to give it up easily, specifically if she is not supposed to have it.

So, without further ado, I pulled what I believe to be petrified poop out of Chini’s mouth yesterday and (wait for it) a dead, rotten fish from her locked jaws the day before.

The fish thing was a first for me, as it isn’t likely to find a dead, rotten fish laying around in the ‘burbs of St. Louis…unless, of course, the neighbors toss an overcooked Filet O’ Fish sandwich into the yard.

Oh, I almost forgot something funny, yet creepy, that occurred twice this past weekend. I really thought Cybr would have mentioned it considering how hysterical his impromptu rendition of the event was, but maybe he will elaborate…

We are laying in bed with the dogs and cats when outside our flat (which is water and rarely do we get visitors on that side) we hear what sounds like a man speaking in Cantonese using a megaphone to deliver propaganda. It was rather funny, unexpected, and eerie all at the same time. What’s funnier is that we both thought it sounded like the exact same thing. Then, once we were finished laughing and looking to see where in the harbor it was coming from, Cybr began his performance of delivering communist propaganda which sent me into yet another fit of laughter. He is pretty funny, you know.

Thanks, KD!!!

No. I didn’t know…

BUT I RULE! Okay, okay, maybe that is a bit exaggerated but – who cares! I RULE!

Thanks to whomever recommended me for the St. Louis River Front Times (RFT) Blog of the Week.

You can check out the link here.

I feel like a ROCKSTAR!!!

Freelance photographer.

I had cards printed, I have already done two gigs with good feedback.

I am in Hong Kong, I have no real job, my profession back in the U.S. is very “retail oriented” here (making me not want to go that route), and my passion has been photography for the past decade-ish. So, the only logical step would be to make my passion into my career while I have the time to put into it.

So, there it is…my passion is now my career. Done!

I have a new camera, the Nikon D200, which is a semi-pro SLR that is being used by pretty much every HK photog I have seen. It does so much stuff, I still have a lot to learn about all its features.

I think I can do this, although I am a bit nervous about venturing out on my own endeavor. But, what the hell, I already gave up everything I have ever had, known, or been comfortable with to move to Hong Kong…so really I have nothing to lose!

I had business cards printed recently, so recently that they aren’t quite ready for pick up.

I thought I would share:

This is the front of the card (sorry for the block-out of surname and address, I don’t want it on the internut).

And this is the back of the card (thanks to my best friend and her beautiful baby girl!).

A business card is all you need to call yourself a “professional”, right? If so, I am so there!

I have always had the inclination that if I were to pick up a violin, then I would just be able to play it. I did this with the piano when I was about 4 yrs old, so this never seemed odd to me.

I have never, in all my life actually picked up a violin until January of this year. Turns out, I was right. I did need someone to tell me how to properly hold it and how to prep the bow. Oh, and I did need sheet music – but I can play it!

I think I may have been a musician in a past life. It just came with me into this one. If that is how it works, after all.

The violin and the lessons were my Christmas present (2006) from Cybr. I really wanted to give it a shot while I have (had) extra time on my hands so that someday I don’t look back at my life and regret not trying it. I took my first lesson in January or February, can’t remember. The instructor, who is so very talented, plays about 6 instruments very well, has conducted, and composes music. She is awesome. The first thing she did was show me how to care for my violin, how to prep the bow and how to hold it. At this first lesson, she also taught me ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’ and ‘Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star’. She was very pleased that I could play them before she finished writing the music into my book.

She has said from the beginning that I am a natural and really feel the music. Even though I am paying her, I do still believe her. She jumped ahead from Mary and Twinkle, Twinkle to more complicated music…Yay, ME!  Don’t get me wrong, I am only playing at the skill level of about a level 5 student which clearly isn’t much better than a beginner, but I do play with feeling and accuracy of tone.

So, currently, my repertoire includes:

  1. Mary Had A Little Lamb
  2. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
  3. Happy Birthday Song
  4. Home, Sweet Home
  5. Jingle Bells
  6. Deck the Halls
  7. The Can-Can (Orpheus in the Underworld)
  8. Spring
  9. Love Story
  10. It’s A Small World
  11. Auld Lang Syne
  12. Greensleeves
  13. Love Me Tender

I recently stopped taking lessons at the beginning of September. My package of lessons came to an end and I have too much going on right now to continue. I may go back for more, I may not. I haven’t decided yet, I figure I will see where I am at with it later this year. I can read sheet music, so I may just continue on my own.

The important thing is that I did something I always wanted to do while I had the time to do it.

At Beck-Allen Cabinetry!

I dream about going to work at Beck Allen all the time. I miss being there and I miss seeing everyone every day.

I would think missing it would pass, yet my subconscience mind keeps sending me to work!

So, if anyone at B/A are reading this…I MISS ALL YOU GUYS and my little job, too

I forgot to mention something about our upcoming honeymoon to Koh Yao, Thailand that I find very interesting…

We first fly from Hong Kong to Phuket, Thailand and then from Phuket we will be taking a SEA PLANE for a 45 minute flight to Koh Yao.

I think this is SO FREAKING COOL! A sea plane. I have never been on one and always wanted to. We were told to have our cameras ready for the flight, the views we will see while on the sea plane are supposed to be awesome.

Just another added bonus, we are so psyched about this trip.