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Discovering motherhood…one poopy diaper at a time.

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Posts Tagged ‘Family’

I thought I would share my day with the internuts.

I think I will backtrack a bit to add that Friday night was spent in a battle of wits.  Vince and I vs. Christmas tree lights.  They nearly kicked our ass.  We ended up tossing the majority of our cumulative collection in the garbage.  And that was the most enjoyable part of the whole experience.  Well, not really, I suppose I really did enjoy making up mean songs about Christmas lights to the tune of several Christmas songs.  But I would enjoy that sort of thing.

Now, moving on to the Saturday festivities…

I awoke to the invite for breakfast and to laundry. This starts out pretty exciting, eh?  Then on to breakfast at IHOP, which was yummy delicious, where my child proceeded to act spastic near the end of our excursion.  She took a power nap of 20 minutes on the way home and then proceeded to be all bouncy, so we decided to pack her lunch and torture ourselves at the mall.  We managed to kill two birds with one stone:  1) we got Kira’s picture taken with Santa for the first time ever and 2) we did her first ever Build-a-Bear because I had a coupon (I lurves me some coupon savings!!).

The mall traffic sucked ASS!  The insane traffic, the crowded stores and just the simple fact that it is a mall is why I try to avoid ever going there.  I know, I know…I am not a girl, well at least not in the sterotypical “liking to shop” sort of way.  Trust me, my husband can and HAS out-shopped me by a long shot.

We lost Vince at a cool pub decor store and went to BAB.  Kira immediately grabbed FOUR unstuffed animals, a polar bear, a kitteh, and 2 different teddy bears and latched onto them like a leech.  We waited for Vince and waited and waited until I realized I didn’t have my cell phone.  So, I pried the unstuffed animals from Kira’s firm grip and went looking for him…no such luck, so we headed back and called his mobile from the BAB store phone.  No answer, gah!

He finally strolls in and we get Kira a polar bear.  She did quite well for such a tiny girl, she even pressed the pedal all by herself to blow the stuffing in.  She kept her death-grip on her polar bear until I fed her in line for Santa.

Ah, the first Santa experience…I walk her up to him and she starts screaming and crying.  Most likely to the horror of most of the other parents waiting in line, I hand her over to this Santa stranger, step back and tell the lady to take the picture tears, smiles or whatever we get…I WANT THIS PICTURE!  So, we got pictures with Santa and the lady did manage to distract her enough to get the “what, are you nuts?!?” glare from my kid.  I love it!  Then they stuck it to us for $20 for 2 5 x 7′s.  That is crazy shit.  I assure you next year we will try another approach, like the Breakfast with Santa event or something.  It couldn’t possibly be worse than the effing mall.

At this point Kira was wiped out, as were we.  We came home and she napped for all of an hour, maybe.  We ate dinner and then I got peed on a little.  And then I knelt in the pee.  Hmm…I think that will be all for today!

Tomorrow we shall have our first family portrait done, dinner with family and then I shall hopefully get a good night sleep before I proceed with intentionally making my child ill by giving her milk to drink.  Doctors are so sadistic…

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that on the way to breakfast I threw Kira’s sippy cup of apple-banana juice into my purse and upon arrival discovered that the lid wasn’t secure and about half the sippy cup emptied into my purse!  This was quite funny until I realized this evening that my MP3 player was in there…YIKES!  I am just hoping that it isn’t f.u.b.a.r.

All in all, it was a crazy day and I had a great time!!!

Today was Kira’s 1st Birthday party.  It was such a great success.  Family and friends visiting, cupcakes (both allergy-free and regular!), Kira playing outside with other kids and seeing her surrounded by love.  She was also fairly responsive to her gifts, which everyone so generously brought for her.  She didn’t have much interest in opening her gifts, but she sure did enjoy them once they were opened. She grabbed an Elmo and ran, grabbed a baby and hugged her, and danced to a musical puppy.

As much as this is a celebration of Kira’s first year of life, it is also more than that.  It is a celebration of being a family for a year, for Kira’s amazing growth physically and mentally this past year, for all of us surviving each other for a year.  It really has been an amazing year.  Trying and difficult, wonderful and joyful, endearing and educational.  I have grown as much, possibly more, as Kira has this past year but in a different way.

I am a better person.  More aware of others, of myself, more patient and I have an entirely different perspective on love than ever before.

I have Kira, my love, to thank for all that.  I thank her for this most wonderful year and for her most wonderful self.

Happy 1st Birthday Party, Kira Barie!!

Today is my 3rd wedding anniversary.  We both forgot about it, as you may have read at cybrpunk.com.

Happy Anniversary!  We can celebrate in a week or so when I get back from Chicago…assuming I survive the remainder of the week with 7 kids!

Yeah, I said 7.

There is one 8 month old, two 3 year olds, one 5 year old, two 6 year olds and 12 year old.  Yikes.  I say that with less enthusiasm after 4 days with them, as they are wearing me down.  I know for certain that they are all really good kids; however, I also know for certain that I may never have more than one (possibly two)…and I am debating keeping the one I’ve got.

A week with this many kids makes you yell a lot more than you would prefer, it makes you more tired than you ever imagined possible, it makes you laugh more than usual, laugh harder than usual, and gets your blood pressure higher than is healthy.

In other news, my baby girl is having some issues and some milestones.  While I turned my head for a brief moment, she took a hit off a soy milk filled sippy cup on Monday which she and I both have been paying dearly for ever since.  She is starting to feel better, but still having some issues with a raw, red butt and diarrhea…oh, and an eczema flare up.  She has been saying “momma” for a week, started it last Thursday and hasn’t stopped saying it since.  It is funny how that is the best moment ever when your child starts calling you momma, then after a few years you get so sick of hearing it you consider the witness protection program.  Her first REAL teeth, for those of you who saw her FAKE first teeth (hehe), have come through and can be felt and seen clearly now.  It is the bottom two.  Awe, my baby is getting so big.

See you soon, Vince, and I’ll take you up on the celebration when I get home!

I try to share my personal parental miseries, failures, triumphs and other human moments with all of you with the utmost honesty…however, lately I have been barely capable of keeping my nose above the waterline, thus the temporary lack of anything worth writing.  There has been a lot going on here on our home-front and a lot going on around me with loved-ones.

I have had to pass on several (much needed!) opportunities to hang out with friends, have a drink, and regroup because there is just a lot of demand on my priorities lately.  While necessary, this has left me drained, stressed, and insomnious…which is taking its toll on me physically.

This is obviously just one of those times that are a dreadful, necessary part of life and it, too, will pass.

If only I could get some reassurance that I am going to come out on the other side sometime in the near future, that would really help.  But since that isn’t likely, I suppose I will just keep chugging along.

I have recently gained a bit of insight, if only it sticks with me.  I imagine that this will.  I have been greatly in need of a better attitude toward my situation as a SAHM and the set-backs that creates with all other aspects of me and my former self.  I have been needing to find a more serene place to exist where, although there are many things I’d like to be accomplishing right this very moment, I am happy just spending time with my child and making the most out of these days that we will never get back.  I have been needing to let go of all the things I’d like to be pursuing and just be in the moment.  This is hard for me because I am the type of person that decides, “oh, hey, I think I will (fill in the blank)” and I do it.  Not tomorrow, but as soon as it crosses my mind.  I can’t do that right now, I have to wait for the opportunity and I have to manage my time accordingly.  This isn’t working for me and I have had a terrible attitude about it for a while now…

Well, here is where I gain some insight.

I have been presented with a potential challenge to my child’s health, which I do not care to elaborate on at this time, and I have decided that just the potential for her to have a serious health concern is enough to open my eyes WIDE to how good I’ve got it.  On the bright side to this potential bad thing, there is this insight that nothing I aspire to do or be is more important than even 10 minutes of my day spent with my little girl even doing the most mundane activity, even doing nothing at all.

I believe I have posted and commented about parenting being harder than any non-parent can imagine or any parent can verbalize.

It is.  I am not retracting that statement.

I do, however, stand corrected in that no matter how hard parenting may be, staying married (and liking it) AS A PARENT is much, much harder.  I would assume that my husband would agree, so as to not be one-sided.

Oh, to anyone thinking of having a baby to “save your marriage”:   It won’t work. Period.

I hear it gets better after the first year, much like parenting isn’t always as difficult as it is the first few months…

I haven’t been as present here as I intend to be.  But I am still here, that’s what really counts, right?

My life has been overly full the past couple of weeks, but I think (I hope!) I am starting to reel it in and get things under control again.  Or maybe I am am simply adjusting to the chaos…whatever, whichever.

Let me back things up a bit.  I must start by bragging a little…hey, I don’t do much of that here, so I’m taking my moment and enjoying it.  My little, sweet bunny girl has hit several milestones in the past couple of weeks.  She went up on all fours, to hopping on all fours, to sitting up by herself, to crawling, to going from crawling to sitting with ease, and is now pulling herself up by using anything she can reach.  She is only 6 months and 1 week old!  She’s amazing, I love watching her and interacting with her.  She is so cool.  She obviously gets THAT from me, hehe.

She had her 6 month check-up with her pediatrician and even she was amazed by her progress, placing her motor skills at the level of a 9-10 month old.  She is very smart, I will likely pay for this later.

I am currently keeping my MIL’s Pomeranian while they are in Tunica gambling and chillin’.  My cat, Burrito, is enjoying having another dog to play with while my dog, Chini, is in a constant state of sulking.  Apparently, she must think we are keeping her and isn’t too keen on having even more competition for my affection.

Yesterday, I hooked up with three friends of mine from high school.  We had lunch, drinks and a lot of laughs.  It was a great time and I look forward to doing it again soon.  In fact, it felt so normal and natural despite the amount of time that has passed, I can’t hardly wait to see them again.  I suppose it is just what happens in life, things come full circle…and so it is.

Today, I spent the afternoon at Grant’s Farm with Kira and Vince making like a family.  We rode the tram, saw the animals, enjoyed both a snow cone and beer, then went on to have dinner at Rich & Charlies.  Kira was great.  She missed an afternoon nap, except for a quick 20 minutes in the car, and still was funny, smiley and good.

There is one thing I missed out on this weekend, that I didn’t make it to my niece’s 8th grade graduation ceremony.  It is a long way away and we couldn’t possible make it and still do everything we were obligated to do.  I will see her next weekend, though, when we head south to visit with my family for Memorial Day weekend.

Oh, I have been reading so much lately.  I have three books going right now and one I just finished.  I go through phases like that, so it seems, where I read everything and then get burned out on reading for a while.  It’s ‘game on’ time for reading.  I can’t get enough.

May
10
HMD and S

That would be Happy Mother’s Day and Shit, in case you weren’t sure.

Let’s get on with it…first the Mother’s Day and then the Shit…

I have enjoyed my baby girl today, enjoyed being a mom and being a family, as well.  I had a MD breakfast and a MD dinner and a MD stroll in the park.  I even had a MD lawn mow.  Hey, still has to be done and I enjoy being outdoors.

It has been a good day here on the mommy front, even a good weekend…the past 10 days or so, however, have sucked ass in ways that I can’t entirely go into detail about.  Death, serious illness and family drama.

I lost a friend about 10 days ago, which isn’t even the worst part of this traumatic incident.  The circumstances and the pain inflicted on a closer friend due to this incident are way worse than anything I could or ever would post about on this blog.  I have refrained from mentioning it at all out of respect for both the living and the deceased and for that same reason I must stop short of saying anymore.  I only mention it at all because it seems to be the start of a series of 3, unfortunately all very bad things.

I have been ruled by the rule of 3′s, and quite honestly a bit overwhelmed by it, the past 10 days.  If you are not familiar with the rule of 3′s, then you probably haven’t been paying attention to your life.  Bad things happen in 3′s, you can count on it.  It never seems to fail.

So, the second bad thing has to do with my dog.  My beloved Chini, my best friend, my angel.  I took her to the vet for a pre-op consultation for a simple, outpatient eye surgery and found out from blood work that she may have a deadly, incurable disease that will shut down (potentially) her liver, kidneys and heart…whichever gives out first.  There is no cure, only treatment that will not guarantee anything, will make her violently sick for a while and then hopefully give her time.  To make matters worse, the treatment that may, or may not, give me the 15 good years with her that she and I both deserve will cost a small fortune…fortune enough that the vet says people rarely go through with it.  I am currently awaiting additional test results and will have to make some very big decisions at that time, they should be ready tomorrow.

The third and possibly worst has to do with my grandma slipping away out of her right mind.  She may have had a stroke, she may have something else…we don’t know yet.  But she certainly isn’t doing well.  I just found out she doesn’t have Medicaid anymore either, because apparently when my grandpa died and his $30,000 went into her name, they cancelled her coverage retroactive and are billing her for a surgery she had in the amount of $24,000.  That’s fair. NOT!  They got her to sign something, too and I still have to figure out what it was and what to do about it.  I shouldn’t even have to be dealing with this, by all rights, but her children (my mother included) have all decided that money was more important than family (you know, because we are just so filthy rich in my family *coughs bullshit*) and have no interest in even speaking to their mother much less caring for her in her elderly years (and ultimately leaving her care up to two of her grandchildren, which just isn’t right).

Here’s where I come in.  I have to find out what happened with Medicaid, what she signed and try to figure out how to legally make her wishes upon death come to fruition and get her proper medical attention having only Medicare coverage.  I am in up to my ears.  I am just about ready to cry.

I spoke with her today to wish her a Happy Mother’s day and the conversation didn’t go so well, in fact it left me in tears.  Then I had to pull myself together to call my own mother and wish her a HMD, in spite of being really pissed at her for leaving her own mother in the state she is in, not caring about her or for her, not even so much as calling her to wish her a HMD for about 6-7 years now.  It was hard to do it and mean it.  But I did, as best as I could.  I love my mom, but I can’t help but be angry under the circumstances.  The best I can do right now is try to forget how angry I am in between all the b.s.

So, now you know why I haven’t been posting anything for about 9 days or so.

I am still here.  I am still kicking.  I did still enjoy my first official Mother’s Day, although I have been having my own MD celebration for more than a decade…fuzzy kids count, too!